Who's your mama?

Dear Mother,

It's Mother's Day once again and I have nothing but painful words and a heavy heart. They say that family dynamics is a vicious cycle of which I tried time and again to prove wrong. Alas, it was not meant to be.

I see families out on mother's day, celebrating their mother's unending and unconditional love for their children, but I see you and I see nothing but hate and pain.

I see only the times your face is twisted into an ugly snarl and your eyes glaze over with a vile hunger that only you could muster.

I see you and can only visualize the hitting, the whipping, the bashing. When will you stop? When will this stop? I plead and cry but no one hears, no one wants to busy themselves in caring. A child's cry is not to go noticed for it is but a child and therefore, unworthy.

I cannot see myself being loved by another for goodness comes in spots far and few. Goodness was a dream that was poured away years ago, like sweet honey trickling onto the dusty ground; Forever lost, forever forgotten.

I love not because I will not, I can not. It is too heavy a price I have to pay. My life is as such because you made it that way. My friends are naming their children after their own mothers but me? I will never name my children after you.

I will never name my daughter, Lois.

Happy Mother's Day,

Savannah