my felicity

and the violins play on, faster and more intensely with each note drawn until it can only crash into the silence of the night.

and she runs, as hard and fast as she can. Against all motion, she runs. Above the sting of her legs, she runs. no stopping her, she just runs...finally, collapsing at the centre of the room. The mahogany parquet squeaking against her knees.

wanting to reach the exit, she pulls herself forward, her palms flat against the polished wood. pulling herself forwards, her legs a leaden weight, she pulls. she struggles.

drag.

drag.

there, she finds a pair of scissors, the thin stainless steel types. the ones people use to slit their breasts in the dark of the night or the types they ram down their throats on a hot thursday afternoon.

and she starts, cutting her hair.

locks of unhappiness fall to the ground and the vileness of the day disappears as if the vileness had previously crept down to the ends and i've just snipped it off, their lashing tongues, never a sight.

looking at herself in the polished mahogany, her hair is just hair.

her hair has ceased to be imagery or a cause for literary devices.

It is just, hair.

and she has found, her felicity.

but I, being poor, have only my dreams

Si j'avais chiffons les cieux brodé,
Enwrought d'une lumière dorée et argentée,
Le bleu et le dim et les tissus sombres
De la nuit et la lumière et la pénombre,
Je voudrais passer le tissus sous vos pieds:
Mais moi, étant pauvre, ne disposent que mes rêves;
J'ai étendu mes rêves sous vos pieds;
Marche doucement car tu marches sur mes rêves.

recontre

The ceramic beneath me is cold and unfeeling but that's just the way I like it. No frills, just support. Just what I need.

With every second, the cold is creeping into my body and my bottom is starting to feel a little tingly from the cold. I turn on my side but my elbow immediately gets in the way so I rest on my tummy.

Flat out.

It's not that cold anymore as body temperature and ceramic start to warm up to each other and I can feel the stress of the week ebbing away. Slowly, but surely.

All my insecurities, all the pain...

Just,

dissipating.

Going.

Gone.

collegiate lois

Ah, I shall pay my blogging dues tonight!! Many have been asking me why I never blog anymore. To which I always give a standard answer, OMG. YAH. SORRY SORRY. SOON SOON.

Haha, I never see the need to give a reason to stuff I do or do not do. (Although sometimes I do for other reasons). I mostly just brush it off with an "oh, I'm silly lois- so I do silly blur stuff and I'm always sorry about it, not that I actually am silly or blur- excuse. It's just easier to tell people that or at least project the image"

Anyhow, this return to blogging has indeed made me chirpy, so much so that I'm onto the 3rd paragraph and I've yet to write anything substantial. How vain I have become over the months, no?

So, college started on the 23rd of August and its just been awesome so far. Granted, the workload has only just begun to pile but surely, the thirst for knowledge can't be too bad a thing. Our first ever assignment was a writing assignment to which I gladly accepted (for my speech communication class). The title,

"WHY IS COMMUNICATION A PROCESS?"

I'll give you some time to think about it. *Time given* Alright, now that you have a rough idea of what you want to write, here's what I wrote. Only a paragraph or so was needed but i thought I'd write a little more.

*Start of assignment*

This is why I think that Communication is a process.

Dearest Frank,

I love you very much. Every time I feel like giving up on life, I remember that you will be here to comfort me and life gets a little better. It is never easy being away from you but I know that only time is keeping us away from each other. Sure, you might be really possessive at times when you won’t let me get out of bed and yet pull me closer to you with your soft embrace. But I know that my love for you is genuine and will never change. I love you very much Frank. You will always be, my awesome fleece blanket.

But it never got the message.

This is why communication is a process because as much as we need a person sending the message, we also need someone on the receiving end. As much as I would like to have a meaningful relationship with my blanket through means of intellectual banter and pure love, I know that sadly, this is impossible.

For communication to take place, there should be a source, the message, the medium by which you will be transferring the information and of course, the receiver. (However, contrary to what most books and sources on the internet say, I dispute the fact that interpretation and understanding of information passed be counted as part of the process. Hence, I have omitted this from my process.) Having stated the pivotal stages in a communication process, I find it imperative to reiterate that there must be a source and receiver in communication to make it a process. This is why communication is a process and Obi Wan Kenobi’s Jedi Mind tricks from the Star Wars saga is not communication. (A form of mind control)

*End of assignment*

I know I know, its not much but hey, she only wanted one para and I'd already given her a little more than was required. Hope it made some sense to you all!!! I really liked it nonetheless.

Anyhow, back to college. It really is just a small campus with a row of 6 classrooms. Nothing fancy, nothing college-like at all but I wouldn't have it any other way. And really, when I say that, I honestly don't mean it in the Pamela Anderson living in a trailer park and saying she'd never live anywhere else cos its so awesome blah blah, I honestly and true to God, wouldn't have it any other way. The knowledge I've amassed in this short 2 week span about life and schoolwork has totally, er, pwned any local education er, thingy.

All through my Singaporean education(except when i got into the gifted education programme because they really didn't require much schoolwork knowledge, just how you process your thoughts), I'd been labelled as stupid because of my crappy grades and my refusal to memorize and replicate answers even when i fully understood concepts. Perhaps its too early to say but I honestly doubt college is anything like that. I've suddenly been thrust into a class full of international students and the world just seems so much bigger.

Happen to say "Oh, what a small world!" a lot? HAH, not a chance in college! Everyone's just so diverse and you can't help but feel a little excited of what is to come.

Just today, I was heading down for breakfast before statistics. Okay, let me just give you some background and put everything into context. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, 8am, I take this premium bus to the Central Business District which is where my school is located. Sort of. Anyhow, the bus usually drops us off at the Central Provident Fund building and I'll have to take the subway underpass to get to my school which is located on the other end of the district. Usually, I reach an hour early because I'm never tardy and I like to still myself before the day begins. (and i'm also always hungry lah. Read: breakfast!)

Unfortunately, early to me, 9am, is rush hour to the working folks who are click clocking and tip tapping their way to the offices. So, I take the escalator down to the subway underpass and all this time there's no one on the escalator down with me. There is however, two neat rows of well dressed people on the opposite side coming up the escalator. Each face more lifeless than the last.

Faces of women so heavily made up that God wouldn't know them even if he tried; Natures intentions all masked by the clumsy plonk of the powder puff and lines are erased in an instant. The men, so clean and polished just like the boys that they would laugh at back in grade school not so long ago, their hair slicked back with the toxic they called hair gel or some of the more fashionable ones, clay -_-. A myriad of corporate zombies just going on about the day's routine.

Soon, I reached the underpass and made a left. So maaanny peopleee. Ugh. I guess it wouldn't have been too bad had they just left me alone but then they started walking into me and my bag was just too mighty heavy, I would fall a few steps back every time. I just wanted to scream at them and say. HEY, WATCH IT LADY. But I held my tongue. I'll explain why later. There were no lines drawn on the ground, no arrows to say people walking in this direction keep to the right. There was no such thing. The only rule of the underpass game, walk or die. So onward I went. Looking into the eyes of everyone that passed me but they were all corporate zombies. There were a few bright sparks here and then who gave me a slight smile now and then but those were far and few between. I was looking at a zombie apocalypse and loving every minute of it.

This is why: There were so many ways I could have used to reach school or get to my breakfast hangout. Instead, I believed this was the best way for me. It really was just a matter of preference and I much preferred walking through the underpass with ceramic walls and granite floors. The many steps and escalators just fascinated me. This is why I chose this path instead of the "alfresco-traffic light-road" way. Its also why I chose the american college path.

The path to an american college is fraught with so many difficulties for an international student but still I refuse to be beaten by societal notions of how dreams are for cinderella and disney. I start walking this path and start getting trodden by all those who just find it easier to go to a local uni (I'm talking about those who just go just cos, not those that actually want to get into local education. I'm not dissing it!)They start coming towards me in hoards and I suddenly feel like perhaps going against society isn't that good an idea. But still, I persevere. Now, I'm in unchartered waters with no lines drawn on the ground. Which step I take next can only be made in confidence that my gut is sovereign and all knowing.

I never said doing this would be easy but the challenge of keeping afloat when life gets you down is an experience of a lifetime. Something I'd never trade for an easy way through life. I'm just happy I made this choice even when everyone was questioning me about it. I'll get there, and when I do, I'll be happy no matter the outcome cos I marked out my own future.

I'm the little singaporean girl that got away.

every door that slams in my face

Every door that slams in my face, I will offer up in prayer;

So I give you every breath that I have, you can work miracles,

all you need is my, amen.

I surrender.

Take my fears, my inhibitions, all my burdens, my ambitions

you can use it all

no gift, is too small.

I trust in you.

I sometimes feel like there a thousand reasons why I should give up but I'm stubborn in the things I believe. Making this decision has been 2 years in the making but I believe that every step I've taken has brought me closer to the Lord and closer to knowing that miracles do happen. I'm sometimes so close to giving up but when I imagine the greatness that I can achieve, I get so motivated to carry on doing what I do.

It's sometimes so difficult when God plays such a silent yet important role in your life. You still your heart to hear God but hear nothing sometimes and people say, listen harder and you ask them how. It really is all about patience. Impetuousness? Forget it, you're just slipping down a slippery path of naysayers and nullity.

You know, its okay to cry. It's okay to just break down and bare your soul. I know it's difficult to stay true to your dreams ; what with thoughts of self worthlessness and hazy futures but it doesn't last forever. People always think that successful futures are the end points but they never seem to realise that our futures are all the tiny steps we take to get there. Its going to be difficult and crazy but that's what it's all about. Life isn't about choosing safe routes, it's about stretching your mind beyond limits you never thought achievable.

You want to go overseas for an education but have no money? Challenge yourself, take our loans, chart alternate educational paths, there's always a way out. No matter the challenge.

Lois, I know your thoughts and I love you all the same,

God.

parental control

Raising kids is often a beautiful albeit challenging journey. Following my job stint with a childcare centre, I've been forced to think about the way I'm going to raise my children. Working with kids, I've realised that adults have acquired so many habits, both bad and good. Some as their means of survival, some as a societal mandate. If you raise a child and influence him in a way where these habits fail to exist, he would probably be slaughtered.

Take white lies for example, it really is a bad habit of many adults out there. Never teach a child that and what happens? Well, I'm not in an insanely pensive mood to wax lyrical about parenting. I don't have much of a voice or opinion on this topic. How could I possibly? It's surely not my place.

Parenting, ah, this is probably how I'll handle the wiping buttocks after you poop situation.

Me:- Daughter, use the tissue to wipe your ass, girl.

My husband:- Daughter, yes, listen to mother but don't forget to use water to hose down unwanted stuff stuck to your asshole.

Me:- Daughter, now you listen to me girl, you want to waste water like your father and kill the earth or do you just want to bring dead trees to their full potential, help them achieve their dreams?

Daughter:- erm, daddy?

Me:- MURDERERRRRRRRRRRRR.

Ah, my daughter will grow up well adjusted, surely.

prove it.

Hello all!

I've graduated.

Honestly, it says so on my diploma.

I've graduated.

Prove it? It's not like I have eczema

I've graduated.

No, I shan't. I shan't start trying to prove it

I've graduated.

Now why, why won't you take my word for it?

I've graduated.

I'm equipped with skills both soft and hard

I've graduated.

It's true although I am no bard

I've graduated

I'm old enough to block out harmful distractions

I've graduated.

Now why, why won't you take my word for it?

I've graduated.

I've even gone for the Industry Training Programme

I've graduated.

I'm no student, I'm now called alumni, Damn.

I've graduated.

I've paid my dues, I've gotten my grades.

I've graduated.

Now why, why won't you take my word for it?

FINE.

THERE YOU GO. BELIEVE ME NOW?

See, in applying for a job, they don't care about waxing lyrical about your diploma. You can bring them through 3 years of your diploma and what you've done. You can even show them your expertise and experience but nobody wants to see that, nobody wants to hear about it. They're only just interested in your diploma. The tangible form.

Here's a toast to life after school. Whoo.

Who's your mama?

Dear Mother,

It's Mother's Day once again and I have nothing but painful words and a heavy heart. They say that family dynamics is a vicious cycle of which I tried time and again to prove wrong. Alas, it was not meant to be.

I see families out on mother's day, celebrating their mother's unending and unconditional love for their children, but I see you and I see nothing but hate and pain.

I see only the times your face is twisted into an ugly snarl and your eyes glaze over with a vile hunger that only you could muster.

I see you and can only visualize the hitting, the whipping, the bashing. When will you stop? When will this stop? I plead and cry but no one hears, no one wants to busy themselves in caring. A child's cry is not to go noticed for it is but a child and therefore, unworthy.

I cannot see myself being loved by another for goodness comes in spots far and few. Goodness was a dream that was poured away years ago, like sweet honey trickling onto the dusty ground; Forever lost, forever forgotten.

I love not because I will not, I can not. It is too heavy a price I have to pay. My life is as such because you made it that way. My friends are naming their children after their own mothers but me? I will never name my children after you.

I will never name my daughter, Lois.

Happy Mother's Day,

Savannah

suspicccccion

SUSPICCCCCION, SUSPICCCCCION.

THIS IS A NEW TERM I COINED AS OF 2307 HRS, 5TH MAY 2010. Please be as proud as me as I am of myself. It's just that I've grown increasingly annoyed with a certain public message announcement/ advertisement and I shall seek to expound on it in the following paragraphs.

There's this thingy I see pasted on the acrylic bus panels and it annoys me to no end because I look at our society and realize how uncivilized and uncultured they make us out to be and as every good article should; I've made provision for the opposing voice, hence, I shall include a small paragraph of (un)biased material for your consideration. Surely, since I'm a brilliant writer. (I lie, my writing score is way below average. Ah, I've got a month till SATs anyway. Besides, I'm mugging every day in May anyway)

Oh yes, so what is this offensive piece of literature (Read: shit) I see pasted in our buses? Here, I can't find a snapshot of it but its really just the Phua Chu Kang campaign thing of being gracious. So you find his face plastered next to the reserved seats saying "SLEEPING AH? DON'T BLUFF. GIVE THE SEAT UP". There's even a rap for it. They changed the words a little and on first glance, you'd think its cute and novel but when you sit down to actually think about it. Oh gosh, weak.

I mean, honestly, why instill this sense of suspicion in people around. By having suggested that, you've immediately thrown an anchor to anyone who could possibly have had a bad back, diarrhoea, terrible headache sitting on the reserved seats. I mean, honestly. If you want to educate the public about something like that, don't use the stickers as a fixture (which we know our buses are very prone to doing. Like oh gosh, don't punch the bus captain, paste a sticker. omg, no eating, paste a sticker. STOP PASTING BLOODY STICKERS EVERYWHERE. WE GET IT ALREADY. )

Back to my point, accusing people of bluffing is just really insulting and its really cheap. There are other ways, this was just brought about with good intentions, a quest to be different but surely with negative connotations. Kids will receive mixed messages, they'll grow up in a world where people sleeping on a reserved seat immediately means

a) they're dead

b) they're bluffing the whole bloody world

c) they're frigging tired cos they just pulled an all nighter

d) they've just finished dialysis

Ding ding ding and the answer to the kids of tomorrow is........

B!!!!

Because compassion and grace are surely concepts unknown of course.

Oh silly you, I'm sure you got tricked!!

Such are the ways of child psychology, inject a drop of negativity and watch it flower and sprout.

Yet, do we shield the children from such negativity altogether? Ah, they'll grow up and make choices. Lets leave it up to them. To that I say, bullshit. Don't give me that.

Do you, expose your child to porn and graphic images of murders and say Ah, they'll grow up and make choices. Lets leave it up to them.

No, i don't think so.

Too adverse a parallel example you may wonder, well, look at it this way, you make a child grow up in an environment where he knows no other way, I'm sure the choice when he grows up will be clear as day. I have no choice but to choose to be suspicious (or be addicted to porn).

I'M REALLY NOT DISSING THE PERSON WHO CAME UP WITH IT LAH. ITS JUST THAT, I DON'T KNOW LAH, THE REFLECTION OF YOUR HEART IS THE MEASURE OF A MAN.

Okay, and as promised. that tiny (un)biased paragraph just for you people. Deep down, I implore those that are really reluctant to give up their seats to those in need to just give up the bloody seat. I'll write you a testimonial, I'll give you a chupa chup, I'll make Michael Jackson come back to life and sing a song to you. Just give up your bloody seat and make this world less suspicccccious of each other won't you.

AHA, BUT SOMETIMES AH, I DON'T FEEL LIKE GIVING MY SEAT UP COS OLD PEOPLE SCOLD ME AND SAY "WHY? YOU THINK I SO OLD AH? YOU YOUNG PEOPLE AH..BLAH BLAH BLAH" when i try to give my seat up :( and I get saaad :(

Ah, I've surely gone on for quite a bit now and I really wanted to cover 3 more angles but there's work to be done tomorrow and it was a long day at work today so toodle-loos.

And just for fun, SUSPICCCCCION. Why have I spelt it such?

Love and kisses,

the Oracle

i am the kaypo queen

lots of people have been asking me what I'm doing now but there is so much more to glean from that when you put it into context.

Recently, there was someone who asked me what I was doing now and I replied with a soft "I've just graduated from Temasek Poly". To which he replied "WAH PIANG, YOU HOW OLD ALREADY, ONLY JUST GRADUATED". Taken aback, I just launched into my defence mechanism of "EH, OMG. DON'T LEH, I SHY LAHH."

Inside, I was dying.

You see, I'm not sure if I was affected by it because what he said which had been laced with so much ill intent(although executed in a joke) or if that had been cumulated with the fact that I was ashamed of my space in life. Take for instance had I not been ashamed of having graduated from a polytechnic, would I have replied in a soft wavering voice to begin with? Would that have led to me feeling poorly about myself because of what he said. Granted, his statement was a breeding ground for the power of association to ruin you but if you were truly confident of your course, you wouldn't have been affected by it.

You see, this is the thought process of lois. "WAH PIANG, YOU HOW OLD ALREADY, ONLY JUST GRADUATED".

Immediately, the neurons start hopping about to isolate "old" and "already", both of which held negative connotations.

Old meant that I was slower than people, that I was behind people, that I'd wasted an extra year of my life when my peers had already moved on to college/ university education. Lois as of now would self annihilate within 2 minutes of processing this thought but someone with confidence and trust in the poly system would have immediately gone, WAIT A MINUTE, that's one extra year of work experience, life experience and hands on that my junior college peers never got to experience because they were too busy studying about Hitler being a total asshole or that ovaries are found in both women and flowers. (HAHA, PANSY.) or that Hitler had ovaries. Wait, that can't be right. Hmm, who cares. I never went to a junior college to study subjects as such, I wouldn't know. =x

Already just meant that my peers had gone on to accomplish things that I had yet to set eyes on and here I was, a fresh poly graduate.

I don't know, as much as I really felt like flicking that person who said that, I know that I'm partly to blame. Do I really want to name a crime a racial crime just because it was done to an african american when the offender in question just happened to first see an african american and didn't specially pick an african american to commit the crime on? Where do I draw that line? Is the sensitivity heightened because I am so emotionally attached to it that I don't have enough grace to let go of the knots in my heart.

People sometimes say I'm flaky and that I'm fickle but when you see life through my eyes, you see life very differently, no, I am not a weed smoking hippie and no, I do not see the world in psychedelic wonder. I'm just saying that when people see life, they see life as a good university degree, good paying job, promotions, family and people to send you off when you die. When I see life, I see fear, happiness, apprehension, opportunity. I'm clearly not judging them, it isn't wrong for them to think the way they do, just as how people shouldn't persecute me just because I think this way. It really is just about alternative thought processes.

I mean, lets just take a simple example. During my internship, I had to copy-type 67 page agreements. Granted, it would seem most boring but to me, it was an exercise of patience, creativity and quick thinking. Why so? I put it to you that there is only one way of copy-typing agreements? Yes? No?

I found a few ways to do it much quicker and more efficiently. Its how you look at it. It's really just about how you look at things. I can't look at trees and see them as trees anymore. I can only see trees and see strength and potential.

Then, I look at myself in the mirror but I don't see my peace.

My feelings now would be rightly summed up by this song sung by Rhordan whom I personally don't know (but Nicholas sent it to me cos he thought I would appreciate it and I surely did). This was taken from the Redemption Hill Musical and it touched me deeply.

Am I not to believe that

things would change for sure

that a story from old

has the power to turn things around

there was once a man who

lived and died for us

claimed that he is

giver of hope

could it be?

that this man i don't know from so long ago

might be calling out to me

should i believe what i'm told?

has my heart grown cold?

i can't hear through all the pain

and i can't take this step

if i don't know the way

give me a sign

let me know what to hear

courage to search for the truth in this mess they call life

amidst all the fear and confusion

a hope to go on;

there might be peace

there will be truth

there's something more ----

could this be hope?

hope, faith and the man I don't know.

my life was never meant to turn out this way but it did and I must find the courage to surge on.

katy perry be good.

I think you might shoot me.

I've always liked "Hackensack", a song largely popularised by Fountains of Wayne but recently, I realised that Katy Perry had done a cover on it so I decided to check it out.

AH! OMG. I just fell in love with the song all over again. Its like one of those things where you fall in love with a charm bracelet and over the years you wear it now and then but pearls come into fashion, or lilac gold comes into play and it totally overshadows the brilliance of the charm bracelet. Yet one day, one unassuming, i just want it to be a fine day, day, someone sends you a new charm and you dig out the charm bracelet and its love, all over again.

That's what I felt when I heard it again.



So, try to check it out if you can.

It helps that she isn't wearing a bra. hahaha.

And if you're really up for it, go check this out as well,



Alright, I promise, last song!! Well, this is one of her more popular songs so I think you've heard it before but it just sounds so damn good unplugged, I just HAD to share it.



and if you've not been persuaded to check out these three videos then I turn you away from my oracle with judging eyes. I resent your viewership and believe you'll trip over a rock on your way out the door.

Er, wait. Why would a rock be on the inside of a house. I really meant, on your way out. That's it. I HOPE YOU TRIP ON YOUR WAY OUT.

Okay this is the last video if you want t redeem yourself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1A5LKc5kTbc

and you know, in a way.

I feel so, lost.

the jungle girl

Bindi Irwin scares me with her immense enthusiasm but I must say, she's one heck of a good entertainer. She's REALLY got the goods to back it up so I'm going to let the scary enthusiasm go. She's really grown into her own so take a look at this video and just agree with me on how immensely talented she is. Plus, look at the face of an angel (her brother, robert. sweetest thing ever)



This post is in memory of Steve Irwin who would have celebrated his 48th birthday over the next few days. Animal Planet's just not the same without you :(

x,
the oracle.

1.7321, mine forever :)

It was to my great delight that I attended a CNY party yesterday. The hosts were a gay couple and I really have nothing against them even if my faith strongly condemns it. I mean, its not like I condone it but I love them nonetheless, this is what grace and love is all about is it not?

Yet, I think that what they have is sometimes so beautiful and even more so than heterosexual love because for one, they have to fight through all the persecution and secondly, go through a reduced pool of choices to find the one, it is indeed a tough feat to manage but I love how this couple's found each other and promiscuity does not seem to be in the equation. Anyhow, I was reminded of this poem and I thought I'd share it with all of you.

The Square Root of Three

I’m sure that I will always be

A lonely number like root three

The three is all that’s good and right,

Why must my three keep out of sight

Beneath the vicious square root sign,

I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick,

with just some quick arithmetic

I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321

Such is my reality, a sad irrationality

When hark! What is this I see,

Another square root of a three

As quietly co-waltzing by,

Together now we multiply

To form a number we prefer,

Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds

With the wave of magic wands

Our square root signs become unglued

Your love for me has been renewed

:- David Feinburg

So just in case all of you are poetic ignoramuses, this is the central theme of the poem; It's mainly talking about Homosexuality and the problem of finding gay love. Read it again with this thought in mind, if you are STILL unsure of what it's talking about... then erm..well. Refer to paragraph below.

The integers represent the heterosexual lovers out there and the homosexuals have a label on them, also known as the evil square root sign. Yet, when two of the same kind get together. in this case when two square root signs multiply, it disappears and they become a complete integer. I thought it was such a sweet poem.

My take on it however is that this poem doesn't have to be gaycentric, it could really be dedicated to oddballs like me or nerds like anne or just awesome musicbuffs like shameen. We're all just waiting for our own kind to take us away and leave all the integers behind.

Lastly, I'd like to leave all of you with another geeky endeavour that I had the fine chance of being exposed to. Compliments of fatboy91 aka Jerry Cheong. I'm secretly happy that not many people read the oracle anymore because as much as I want to share this next item with all of you, I don't want THE WHOLE WORLD to know it too. I want it to be exclusive. So people,

please solve this:

There was really supposed to be an equation here but the html kept screwing up and I'm terrible at this whole computer bonanza. Guess it'll have to remain exclusive.

x, the oracle

cny + valentine's day= ?

I hate to admit it but I am a useless romantic, I deny it with every being in me but the truth is, I love the whole love thing. It doesn't have to be roses, it doesn't have to be chocolates (eeegross!), it doesn't have to be a result of societial commercial imposition on love.

No, it could be a newsletter with all the grammatical errors circled with a red sharpie, a comic strip, a self structured poem about the evils of mediacorp programmes. It really doesn't matter, make it out to be your own, something that only the two of you can share. That, is love now isn't it? It's a love, shared by only the two of you and no one else (except PAP when they issue out baby bonuses, i really love that. It makes me feel like an undercover surrogate).

So, I daresay. Run the risk of getting hurt 'cos if you fall you can pick yourself up again but if you haven't loved, you haven't lived.

We now interrupt this post to bring you a WISE statement.

CNY + VALENTINE'S DAY =

DATING THE MONEY IN YOUR HONGBAOS (a.k.a red packets). hurhur. come on, you gotta love the girl.

and well, because I still have faith in love and that it'll come knocking soon enough if I just wait patiently. Idealistic me, sometimes hopes that should that love ever turn sour, this would ensue. I think THIS is actually love at its purest.



So, from the oracle to all of you hopeful, faithful, idealistic romantics out there who just never want to admit it,

Hey, have a happy, Valentine's Day

... and well, don't think. Just do.

<3

the mandatory birthday post 2010 edition

HELLO EVERYBODY!

TODAY WAS JUST BRILLIANT! :) There was just so much love around, ugh, I'm so incoherent now. My 20th was just wonderful. I mean, it wasn't exotic with Venezuelan models caressing deadly reptiles whilst dancing on bar-top. No no, but it was filled with so much love and care. You know, it was just brilliant.

I mean, its really not about what was planned, it was the effort that was put into it; like somewhere before today, you were a topic. People were actually actually discussing ideas on how to make you happy (or else, dictating others to do so. Either way, its greatly welcome)

This birthday though. I thought I'd touch base with something I'd been meaning to talk about. As you all know, I grew up a christian girl and I always had the faith that God had a bigger plan for me. I know that some of you aren't christian, that's okay. This isn't some kind of preachy religious post, its more of a pensive about religion, secular post. Well, this is just it.

THE BIGGER PLAN.

Turning 20 was something really big in my life and it stressed me out to no end. They say that 21's the real deal since it's the age of majority but I say no, the real deal's our 20th. It's that transition period,it's that time for change in the making. Its like a workshop for brilliance and I was afraid that Brilliance would not wait for me.

I was doing my quiet time this week, in all seriousness and in the stillness, I had a real Benjamin Button moment when I started to piece together timelines of my life. Every little thing happened for a specific reason, no matter how small or insignificant it may have seemed. A chance meeting, an annoying fly, my compaq getting wiped out by the blur father figure, IT ALL HAPPENED FOR A REASON.

You see, as insignificant an event may seem, it'll definitely illicit some form of thought. This thought is then transformed into a figment of a root (idea/problem) and this root grows, extends, deeper into the ground. All these roots grow, strong and healthy, in succession and in quantity till you're this impenetrable web of thoughts.

Read: life.

And, God planned every single thing.

My stress was not in vain.

Basically, I'm just presenting to you the most superficial of my thoughts, cliche and commercial. Please, I'd be insulted if you thought that this was the extent of my thought process. Oh honey, there is much to know but I'm never going to let you know that! The mystery is part of why Lois is awesome!

So, here's a 19-20 transitional photo. Words undermine.

Dear Rupert Grint,

So, I've decided to write a letter to Rupert Grint and pray that he googles his name on a daily basis. I shall enclose a paragraph just filled with his name and hope it turns up as the first result on googlesearch. Hmm, I might just write out the letter and send it over to Rupert. O as I endearingly call him, Grin-ny.

Rupet Grint
c/o Actual Management Ltd
27 Mortimer Street
London
W1T 3BL
UK

Alternatively,

Rupert Grint
c/o Harry Potter Productions
Leavesden Studios
P.O. Box 3000
Leavesden
Hertfordshire WD25 7LT
United Kingdom

Dear Rupert,

I'm all about location, location, location. So, I thought I'd like to start with a "Where am I on google earth?" link. Oh, i'm Lois by the way. Sorry about that. I sometimes forget about my name when I'm talking about location. Anyhow, this is where I come from--> http://www.maplandia.com/singapore/ <--I'm not a bot, I'm still Lois. Anyhow, I'm from Singapore. So, hello!

Well, and contrary to popular belief, Singapore is not part of China, neither is it attached to Japan and it surely isn't part of Malaysia. (Well, not anymore at least. Post '65 and all.) With all due respect, I'm not doubting your intelligence in any way by telling you just where Singapore is. No, no. I just fear that your agent might be standing behind you, feeding you with inaccurate information about Singapore. So I thought I'd take the liberty in quashing all possible doubts before it escalates into a complete misconception.

I now pause as I have been suddenly hit with an oh-so-horrific-realisation that your agent might be standing behind you reading this letter or worse still, you might not be Rupert at all. In which case, HI MR/MS/MRS AGENT I/C OF RUPERT, I apologise once again for discounting your intelligence in any way. I do not doubt you in any way but I was just wondering if you would be so kind as to let me have tea with Rupert some time.

IF YOU ARE INDEED RUPERT, PLEASE SKIP THE NEXT 3 PARAGRAPHS OF LITERATURE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND CO-OPERATION.

I promise I won't be Yoko and try to break up the Harry Potter trio. No no, IN FACT, I'll be totally with you on this. If Rupert ever just wants to hang out and blow off work, I'll give him the cold shoulder and make him go back to work. SO HONEY, YOU'VE GOT THAT COVERED.

Plus, if Rupert and I ever got together, I'd persuade the Singapore Government to gift me to the United Kingdom. This of course, would strengthen Anglo-Singapore bilateral ties.(which might I add, you mr/ms agent singlehandedly accomplished. I believe this calls for a beam-facing-the-world-cos-its-a-really-proud-moment)

In addition, I have enclosed health records of my parents and myself just so you know we're not dying just yet or have a history of schizophrenia. Whichever may seem to hold a higher priority where the safety/financial status of Rupert is concerned. Please note that all these health records have been fabricated 'cos I couldn't be bothered to call up the hospitals for an appointment. OH, WAIT. I'M KIDDING! I really just needed more words to fill up this paragraph. One line was just not going to cut it.

In any case, this is the paragraph that you should continue reading if you are indeed RUPERT (which I sincerely hope you are) So its me, Lois Goh. Anyhow, I know you're a busy man with loads of fanmail so I've decided to introduce myself in bite sized info. Plus, i've also attached a pre written reply that you can make full use of by choosing the appropriate multiple choice answer. This way, you won't need to waste so much time on little ol' me.

1. My favourite colour is green. However, I really really like yellow too, but only on Saturdays and well, black on Sundays. Please don't judge me. Erm, care for a jellybean?

2. As a girl, I grew up never stepping on any cracks. This has sometimes caused me to take hours just to walk a short stretch. While I've mostly grown out of this bad habit, I sometimes relapse, much to the bane of friends and family; but no, it is not obsessive compulsive disorder(like most people would normally like to self diagnose and associate themselves with just to feel special and significant) I reiterate. It is ONLY A BAD HABIT.

3. I chop off locks of my hair when I'm really sad or really happy and always give the same reason after, oh, I was bored. I change my hairstyle every few months to pretend like I'm some sort of asian enigma.

I'm really just an only child.

Once, when I was 9, I chopped off a substantial amount of my hair and realised that Felicity Porter had done just the same thing following her break up with Ben. (WHY DO I KNOW THIS STILL?) At that time, I believed I was an extraordinary child destined for greatness(since I had had the right sense in cutting my hair, just like someone from the WB network had told felicity) That thought has since been quashed and the author currently resides in sunny singapore with her parents.

We now interrupt this letter with news that the author's birthday is in 2 minutes. If you want to read more, date me Rupert.

Date me.

life, a journey through eternity.

okay, this is so unlike me. I'm posting something within 2 days of my last post. I believe I may be falling ill soon. Haha, anyhow, I thought I'd just share this video with you.



well, it made me feel all strange and funny inside.

wonder how it made you feel.

hmmm?

x,
the oracle.

p.s it's rage against the machine day today so my friends, please go forth and hurl abuse at machines today.
example: WHY WON'T YOU WORK YOU FASCIST SCUM! YOU F***ING COMPUTER. I F***ING HATE YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU LIVE FOR. DIE, BITCH, DIE.

okay, I shall go prepare for my advanced civ pro finals now. toodle-loos. F*** YOU SHIT PRINTER.

where does the water come from?

Hello, I have a very, VERY thought provoking question for you.

Are you ready? (Well, no. That's not the question. Okay, I'm going to lay it on you now..)

"WHERE DOES THE WATER COME FROM?"

I approached this with absolute consternation. Well, okay, okay, I don't think this is fair to you. Here, let me take you back a few hours.

It was to my great delight that my Trusts Law lecturer sent me to the School forum to have a dialogue session with the director of the Business School this afternoon. I'd been to enough forums over the past 3 years to know what to expect. This time however, I was on the other end of the spectrum; You see, I'd always been emceeing such events or moderating forums. I never really was, just one of those students in the forum, or an event for that matter. I always had a purpose, a role to play.

So, here I was. 29th January 2009, 1700hrs in a theatre full of indelible young minds; I took a seat right at the back, hoping to just sink into oblivion and make it worth the while, sleeping no less.

1700HRS-1730HRS.

Tick tock Tick tock

and I'm getting really restless. I can't sleep because of all the insane chatter and, erm, might I add, preservation of self image. So I start to fidget and bite the side of my thumb. (its this really bad habit which I never grew out of that REALLY annoys the people around me to no end.

It really just starts with me sucking at the side of my thumb(I won't tell you which side because I'm sure you can figure out the ergonomics of my hand anatomy ) like a chicken wing; then, surprise surprise, I start to gnaw at it like a 3 year old to a piece of hardened gouda. Don't worry, the effect heightens. I start to nibble and then. ugh, I chew. There, the good, the bad, the ugly.)

I'm mostly done with both hands and I really can't take it anymore so I lay my head down to rest and just as my right ear comes into contact with the table in front of me, (like an avatar and its bitch becoming one with that hair amalgamation, they call "feelings".) the useless emcee says "Good Afternoon".

Ugh, and I wake almost instantaneously.

1730HRS-1745HRS

This is usually the part I fear the most (from experience) cos its the OPENING SPEECH. This is the part where Directors establish rapport. OH, my gosh. SO, damn brutal. I know that we should see the effort instead of the results but sometimes, it's just so painful that you cannot JUST disregard it just 'cos. You know? Okay, I know you get me 'cos I just have THAT much faith in you. Anyhow, a few weak attempts later, our Director turns to us in all seriousness and tells us that HE HAS THE RESULTS OF THE STUDENT SATISFACTION TEST<-- surveys taken by students after every semester to make sure they love TP.

I couldn't help it, and I just burst out laughing.

I mean, come on, seriously. The results of the student satisfaction test was to the director as Haiti was, to the newscaster's face. Ah, he took it too seriously. Most of the replies in the test were upped anyway because we secretly knew that they were tracking our surveys.

Oh no, I'm veering. Okay, so it's essentially a forum and they quickly move on to the question sessions.

1745HRS- ETERNITY

So, the questions move along without incident, (though the questions which once started out quite funny, soon became rather annoying. ) I think I should expound on this prior bracketed point because its of erm, relative importance. It first started out as an innocent question about how our school should implement Physical Education into our current curriculum. (I give it to the boy who asked this question, he was TRULY FUNNY and I actually did laugh at his wit. Well, latent wit in any case.) After having answered the qn, the Board of Directors concluded that exercise is really one of those own agenda kind of things so they didn't feel a need to pursue it as yet.

I was quite happy with that question but noooo, some guy just had to ask a similar question. They think its really funny or something (If given the time for further research, I believe these are the same people that still use Ris Low as the butt of their jokes. Like, presently. These are the people that can't just, move on. Alternatively, it would not be bold of me to suggest that these people have IQs below 115. Well, we should get them tested anyway.) So, he asks, Why can't we reduce projects so that we can have more time to exercise -_-

The directors give the same answer.

AND EPIC BOY #3 ASKS,

"Er, Can our diploma be extended from 3 years to 3.5 years? This way we can fit in PE lessons. "

To which, I shouted (from my seat no less), BURN AND DIE, BOY WHO SAID THAT!! <-- Haha, Ah, okay. I admit. That wasn't very classy. I'm not proud of it children. That much I can say. Oh god, I'm so messed up. I actually got really riled at his "you get a slap across your face for being so stupid" suggestion.

Omg, dumass.

So I figured, 3 is a nice number to stop at. Well, er. it kinda did.

We launched into part 2 of this very bizarre event.

This girl raises her hand and rudely asks (rude in a very innocent -my-mother-didn't-teach-me-any-moral-values kind of rude, not the hi-i'm-an-arrogant-twit kind of rude) the directors,

"Have you ever drank from the water coolers before?" (I am well aware of the mistake in tense but people, THIS IS VERBATIM AND ITS TP for chrissakes!)

To which the Directors reply. Erm, no. we haven't.

She continues to prod and finally, she asks.

erm, "WHERE DOES THE WATER COME FROM?"

and I just think this is such a joke that I start to laugh. I laugh so hard that I start to tear. I tear so frantically that soon, I'm crying. and laughing. and crying, and sobbing. Suddenly, I'm this manifestation and brutal mix of all these inexplicable feelings. (Okay, I wasn't actually wailing or crying. I did tear though, just that no one saw. Aiyah, plus. my eyes were damn tired lah)

Okay, so this is where the whole point of the story is.

I can see my life in front of me. I'm at the crossroads, I have to deal with whether I want to go to law school or just do what I've always wanted to do and enrol myself in an american liberal arts college. This small voice in me just keeps prodding me to go to law school because that's where the money is but I know I would be settling if I did Law. I see the faces of the people that I indirectly helped during my internship. They flash before me. Yet, I know that this is not my purpose. I would probably be good at it if I didn't slack off so much but you know, I want to be free.

I want to be free.

And then I look at this girl, asking this question about water coolers during a dialogue session (that is essentially a session where issues on methods of teaching or systems structure is to be queried ) with people 2.5 times our age, Directors of schools, no less. And I look at my life set before me. Water coolers, Life set before me. Water coolers.

Take a few more hours going back and forth and you'll probably be right where I am now.

Underlying statement, there is NO CO-RELATION whatsoever.

I mean, when we take a step back and see the bigger picture, we start to realise that there are just so many more things in life than what we surround ourselves with. You see though, we must take that concerted effort in SURROUNDING ourselves with those very things. And it is in this very logic which compels me to choose a liberal arts education to read anthropology or sociology, if not for the very education. But for the surroundings and experience that I will consequently gain.

You may ask, what a risk you're taking on your education there. I retort with a nonchalant, education is really just beyond an institution. Its what you learn along the way that makes all the difference.

So, this is why I know deep down that my education as I know it, stops with my graduation from TP (in 2 weeks). Yet, my EDUCATION, is just about to start. It makes me excited, it makes me hungry and babeh, it's never felt better.

Okay. done.

So anyhow, just "WHERE DOES THE WATER COME FROM?"

Well, If I'm the water, free. Then honey, I don't know where I came from,

but I'm going to find out.

bombshell polka dots

bombshell polka dots
Originally uploaded by deja_vu_vintage

PEOPLE. It's my birthday in 27 days. I HOPE YOU GET THE HINT. THANKS :)

turn to stone

Have I told all of you how Californication has re-ignited my love for writing and the Literary Arts?

Anyhow, I admit that 2009 was not a good blogging year but it really just meant one thing. The author in question, being me of course had more pressing issues on hand. I'm going to be 20 in a month and 3 days. That's most unsettling. Surely.

I've been putting together my future plans and boy is it tough. One thing I know for sure though, Law is definitely in the bag for me. (Unless of course I ace my SATs then I'm going to just hop on the next plane out and take a liberal arts program like any other asian yuppie running away from the reality of supporting her aging parents )

Ugh. I believe I have just committed the cardinal sin of "bloggers of kindred spirit" by writing about my life; at face value; in simple and easy to understand english.

Nooooo. I have sinned.

I pray that 2010 be even :) than 2009. I managed to work through all the resolutions that I set out to achieve in 2009. I hope i can do that for 2010 too except, I haven't written them out yet. MAYBE 'COS I'M WAITING FOR MY DAMN DAIRY TO BE PRINTED. STUPID PUBLISHERS.

ANYHOW, THE ONLY PEOPLE THAT EVER COMMENTON MY BLOGPOSTS ANYMORE WANT TO SELL ME ACAI PPILLS OR VIAGRA. I guess this is how residents of a once flourishing town which has since grown cold and deserted feel. Rejected and shunned :( Boooo:(

Love,

The Oracle

back to basics

I'm going back to basics, I'm embracing my talents. I want to get back to that place in time when I was sensitive to feelings and sexy with the words. I'm getting back to my writing.

This article really reminded me of what I loved best, writing.

Chapter 1- same spot; chalk and cheese

The solitary tree, which stood in the heart of the entire bustle. Eighty- four years ago on that very same spot, mankind was seen playing happily. Enjoying the pleasures of life. Joy. Pangs of nostalgia and streaks of reminiscence. I hanker after the ability to rhapsodize about the revolution, which took place over the period of eighty years, but to everyone's dismay, I fail to explain in optimistic ways.

On the whole, it seemed like a trapped utopia. Ego of mankind was inching its way to the liability of exploding, as discoveries became more cliché and akin to brushing teeth. Maybe, this to them was a sign of advancement. To a network of people who lived in an other time belt, it appealed to them as a bad omen and knew that this would cause the downfall of humanity. In the vortex of time warps and other elements, possessed many secrets. However, one of the more open secrets was of time travel. When technology advanced rapidly, it brought about many advantages such as time travel. Science allowed them to know that when radium, magnesium and potassium were mixed and burned at a high temperature then released off in the air, it changed the surrounding atoms and molecules. It created time tunnels which somehow penetrated the stratosphere and into another dimension where another civilization stood.

Now, the world had evolved into something more complex than it had been eighty-four years ago. It was made up of just seven civilizations yet concord and accord can never and would never be attained. Different languages, jargon, cultural argot, diverse starts and differences would never resolve to armistice. One civilization was like a nightmare of labyrinthine bureaucratic procedures. They were all fighting for each civilization's stars. Each had their own but greed for more land always got the better of them. They would embark on treacherous journeys only to find only to find more men get killed and stars not acclaimed.

They just did not realise that they were all invincible. Each civilization had their own strengths.

Lidane was the most subdued. They fought only when needed and tried its best to find peace wherever and whenever they could. Their once homosapiens had evolved to an advanced stage called the B23s. They lived on radium alone which calmes their nerves and prevented them from making impetuous decisions. In their civilization, there was equality of B23s. They had the same precepts. There was no chauvinism as in this clan, both males and females could go though child birth and also be breadwinner. Their perception of things had changed drastically over the years. There was a tinge of communism in their way of ruling. There was no hierarchy. Nobody was pre-eminent. On the whole, the B23s had no future, they had no identity, no life. This was their weakness. So near to impeccability and omnipotence yet wholly unable.

Yeah, I wrote this when I was 13. Imagine what these 6 years worth of perspective can bring to this story since I already have/ had the basics. I believe I'm coming back in a big way and honey, I'm excited as hell.

my life reduced to 9 post-its

when i get it down on paper, its no longer inside of me, threatening the life it belongs too.

I mull a lot, its like a bad habit. I get bogged down by all these irrational thoughts and spread the toxic to those around me. Its what I do. Poison pawn! Poison Pawn!

I'd never give up the thoughts for anything though, without it; I'm really just an empty shell of, nothingness. Its been 39 days since you've been gone and I'm not sure if I'm more upset about you leaving or the fact that I understood and that I could have been of help had we talked about it. I mean, I sound rational now, I do.

No, I lie, I'm crumbling inside.

Today I was reminded of you and throughout the day, I kept repressing this line that kept coming back to me. Its like, every time I tried to repress it, it would come back to me, swifter harder; just raw and real. Its down the wrist, not across. Its down the wrist, not across. It's down the wrist, not across.

I get it.

I got it.

And everytime I thought I was going to be okay, the sick would just mount. Its even worse when all you want is to give your undivided attention to your company but all you can really think about are the little coloured glass bottles filled with your hazy past.

These bottles, they fill, so swiftly and quick. All carefully labelled and numbered for your reference.. as if mocking you and taunting you to break them, just to get out of the orderliness of it all. You fling these bottles against the walls and know the momentum will work with you but instead of the bottles crashing against the walls, you find yourself hitting the walls at an incredible velocity only you could inflict on yourself.

As you slide down the wall, with mucous, blood and saliva glazing your left cheek and upper lip. The sides of your mouth begin to curl upward and well, it starts softly at first and you can barely hear it. The sound, shy and perhaps, hesitant at best and you're unsure of what to make of it but then it intensifies and soon the laugh is full bodied and laced with an evil only the beasts of the Schutzstaffel would know.

You wipe away the mucous, the blood and the saliva (which has, given the time, started to mix and grow heavy) with your palm and look down at the mess in your hand. That beautiful mess. That beautifully painful, mess. Your lids start to close and you feel a peace rush over you.

It was never about you, it was always me, you say.

miss invisible

People have always asked me why I've hated my years in Temasek and its just gotten to the point where I never know how to explain it anymore. I was on youtube the other day and I found this video which details like 35% of why I hate my time in school.



On a side note, I really love Marie's dress. Its as pretty as she is!

The run of the Crucible finished on Saturday and I can't help but be plagued with thoughts of what you would have said, had you been there. I'm sure you'd have been so proud of me. Its been a few years now, old friend and I still think of you softly from time to time. Its always hard to lose a close friend but even more so when the draw of theatre and performance was so close to both our hearts. You understood me. Sometimes, I bring my knees up to my chin and bury my face in my arms, praying that you'll come through those doors once again but I know that's never going to happen because you're in Heaven now. You've found your peace.

You once asked me what I'd be when I grew up, I told you that I wanted to be a lawyer, you shook your head and told me, I'd be beautiful. I can't help myself, my laughter gradually turns into tears and then, I can't tell anymore. I can't tell if I'm laughing or crying anymore, just a torrent of emotions all rushing out because it'll kill me if it stayed in any longer. Through the tears, the hurt dissipates and I've found my peace. I've finally found my peace.



Till we meet again old friend, till we meet again.

OMG.WEDDING FTW

HELLO HELLO. I ONLY HAVE ONE THING FOR YOU. GO TO THIS SITE.LIKE, NOW. PRONTO. now!!!!!!!

watch it, NOW!!!!
The oracle has never let you down, I only let you see the coolest material so WATCH THIS NOW!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-94JhLEiN0

AH!!!! I WANT TO GET MARRIED RIGHT THIS MINUTE.

the girl that conquered

This is an exercise I'm trying out. Method acting the literary edition :)



i've always known this song and loved it but I never really fully appreciated it. I was listening to this song again this morning and I felt this ache of mounting failure in my being. I don't believe my ache stemmed from the contents of the song but more so the language of the music. Its like something in the music speaks to me about my past, present and future.

and I guess what pushed me over the edge,



all I really wanted to do was run and run and run. Just run away to that small enclave where the past, present and future are anti matter.

and you could have it all, my empire of dirt. I wear this crown of thorns upon my liar's chair, full of broken thoughts I cannot repair beneath the stains of time; The feelings disappear.

if I could start again

a million miles away

I would keep myself

I would find a way 

(following paragraph to be read when "hurt" is playing from 2:32- 3:43)

I don't want it anymore. You can have it, you can have it all. Just take it. Take it away. I don't need it anymore!!! Take it. Take it! I like having simple wits, I like being ignorant to it all. Take it away. I DON'T WANT IT. GO AWAY. GO AWAY! I DON'T WANT IT!!! 

i don't know how to handle it:(

just let me be. 

End of exercise. Thank you for being part of my social experiment. 

unsteady

I'm unsure as to whether its the culmination of tasks or an isolated matter that's gotten me distressed. I won't say its distress in the most negative of views. No no, nothing silly as such. Its more of an unrest because you know you can handle the drama amidst a looming criminal pro essay deadline. 

Someone remarked that I wasn't steady. Like, I was unsteady. *And lets just take some time for the moment of sheer stupidity to quickly flit away*

Okay, anyway, I was rather perturbed by that because honestly, I've always thought I was really well grounded. Sure, I think up different concepts, sure, I have different ideas from the rest of you but I'm essentially after the same thing. Aren't I?

Or am I mistaken?

No no, that cannot be. No, no, that must not be. Terror, terror! This cannot be! I really don't get the whole idea of me being unsteady. Here, I'll go look up the dictionary now.

This is insane. 

I'm a Katy Perry song. 

UNSTEADY, PEOPLE.

Yeah. 

x, the oracle.

roll the dice and let's go.

I was reading this random blog the other day while fulfilling my role as a wing-man and I thought to myself. She sounds rather deep, she SEEMS rather deep but IS she deep? The question was entirely uncalled for and it thoroughly disrupted the next few days of my life. 

Today being the 4th day of course. UCK. 

Anyhow, I digress. What I meant to say was, WHY should I be the judge as to whether or not she's deep. HOW THE HELL DO YOU JUDGE SUCH THINGS? I could explain how the universe works and place my significance in the cracks of society, wowing all of you with a concluding statement on how I stand balanced and untouched by the world except things that cannot blah blah, you get my drift. 

WOULD THAT COUNT AS ME BEING DEEP?

Hell, no. 

It'll probably just mean that I fancied using those groups of words at that time and arbitrarily placed them in close proximity of each other, going on to use my shallow existence as a means of taking on the world and trying to explain the vast world in 250 words or less. No, no, there is no sense in such incredulous means. 

I fail to comprehend and capture the essence of my thoughts now so I shall leave it to later.

Taa!